i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
