sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
