There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
BRING THE BAGELS
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
