Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
