What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
