We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
