you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
