I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
