Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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