i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
