I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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