I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
