you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Still dying that you shit outside
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize