Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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