She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I want her autograph on my taint
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize