a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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