I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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