who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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