whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
