elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
