i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
