i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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