Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
