Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
3 2 1 whiskey
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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