I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
