I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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