How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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