I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
