I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize