Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Houston, we have a blender
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
