Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
