She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
