Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
