You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
