We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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