I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
