you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
