Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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