Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
