My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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