Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
