Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
