from now on my penis is your penis
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
