i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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