thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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