I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
