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• (678): View more from Georgia

  he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.

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• (914): View more from New York

  all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is

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• (903): View more from Texas

  The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today

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• (407): View more from Florida

  How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?

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• (510): View more from California

  I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.

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