eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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