sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
