if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
