Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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