She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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