I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
