11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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