her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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