Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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