Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
