I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
