Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
