thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
