They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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