Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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