I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
