maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize