My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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