That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
