Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize