yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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