Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
