My room smells like vodka and shame
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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