God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
