i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Randomize
