There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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